Traveling, ought to be about
learning. Discovering. What has always been around you but finally venturing outward.
You’d think every time would be exciting. But sometimes you realize there’s a
lot of the same out there. It might be a problem of expectations however. Those
can be relaxed. Now, what has always been is not only the city of discovery but
one’s self that always was. There are things one can only learn when they’re away
from home. And that’s why everyone must do it.
A most recent of jaunts was my
short trip to Jacksonville/St Augustine. A far more recent travel was to
Orlando. Vastly different in feeling and state of mind. Considering my own existence
in both situations I considered life, companionship, loneliness, and
independence. Loneliness can occur whenever. I’ve found in often cases, it is
when you’re surrounded by many. Either people you’ve never met, are acquainted
with, or are close members of your family. It also occurs when you are alone.
But less when you are preoccupied. It can be the precursor to depression but
can usually be banished with a bit of positive thinking. Or rather, a banishing
of the lonely feelings. Sitting a moment on my hotel bed in Jacksonville. A
warm modern and comfortable studio I felt something
missing. A tinge of loneliness perhaps. Or maybe not. Because with
loneliness, the feeling, there is sadness in the heart. But something wasn’t
there. So I concluded that traveling alone wasn’t the best. I realize now that from my extensive
knowledge of Doctor Who, I should have deduced that before I hit the road.
Before leaving I was met with apathy and resentment. Not for fear of my
loneliness but the usual fears of my parents. You know, things like, kidnap, rape,
molestation. Things like that. All of which never happened by the way. Turns
out people just think you’re one of them. After all, it’s not like I left the
country or something. Didn’t even leave the state. That’s beside the point
however. Notice. That feeling, had not occurred to mind when I was driving or
making stops. It was when I stopped. To contemplate myself and my situation.
Where I was. In reality, I wanted to travel with one specific person. I had
flash thoughts of sitting beside that person. We wouldn’t even have to talk and
I’d know that that’s how it all ought to be. Windows down and looking ahead.
But instead I was sitting on the bed, listening to reruns of Seinfeld to fill
the voice filled with his absence.
Everyplace feels like everyplace. Uniqueness
had not been found. I was even on a similar road. Hundreds of miles away and
the beach was still 15 minutes away. Everywhere I went. I wasn’t running away
so shouldn’t feel disappointed. I had a goal. Get to Jacksonville so I could
get to St. Augustine for the Tiny House Convention. The stores were even the
same. I didn’t give a thought to the people though. I tend to think every part
of Florida is the same demographic wise. But I suppose there was a difference.
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Tiny House Conference
St. Augustine |
Wake up. Like I live here. I live
here. Everywhere is my home. Nothing is strange to me therefore I act normally
in every scene. I make stops because I’m impatient. Right off the highway a few
times until I reached my destination. Just beating the Sun’s goodnight.
Experiencing my independence which felt meaningless. Unafraid yet meaningless.
It was. No upside to really see for the time. Waking up to meet the city and
met by unforeseeable city traffic. I ended up at the rooftop of
Black Sheep Restaurant eating breakfast
in Five Points. Accidentally hipster is the best. Especially when you’ve been
told the whole place was the ghetto and urged not to go. People often don’t
know what they’re talking about. I probably don’t either. So I ran around town.
To boutique after boutique, through the thrift stores, and stale mated at the
closed record store. Then through the marketplace to the orchestra by the river
and remembered. At the staggered cement everyone seated before the scene. The
cool air and the congregation. I remembered the congregator and the reason I was.
To congregate in peace. To enjoy others and what was always around us. Before
the buildings and beyond the streets. What began under the bridges, the river and
there I continued to contemplate what King Solomon had once lettered. Life. And
what makes up an enjoyable one. Enjoying one another and what is good.
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| Aloft Hotel Jacksonville |
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